No Eeyore Here

You know that moment...when you see someone else get what you've been working toward or endlessly desiring, grasping toward hope for, expectantly waiting...THAT thing! Our human response is to judge or criticize or somehow write off that blessing in another's life because we fail to see the other blessings in our own life. When we place our focus on that perceived lack in our own life, we miss the God-designed moments that were intended for our growth and maturity...to deepen our understanding of God and His ways. That is, we look at those circumstances through our human experience instead of trusting and acknowledging him in our own lives (Proverbs 3:5-6).


If one is going to be sold into slavery, I imagine it would be best to be a slave in the house of the officer of Pharaoh! Think about it: Joseph was spontaneously sold to a passing caravan and ended up a slave to the man in charge of protecting the King of the land, the captain and chief of the royal guard, Potiphar (Genesis 39:1). As a slave, he spent significant amounts of time in this man's house and Potiphar actually handed all the duties surrounding the management of his household over to Joseph. "All Potiphar had to concern himself with was eating three meals a day" (Gen. 39:6, MSG). That's some serious trust! Potiphar did not even micromanage the situation. Why would he...I'm sure he was relishing his fortune!

Joseph was a foreigner who became a supervisor, yet remained a slave. While he did not have personal freedom, God blessed everything Joseph touched. God even blessed the household of Potiphar because of Joseph's presence, which Potiphar acknowledged (Gen. 39:3-5)! I submit this acknowledgement contributed to the favor on Joseph's life. Joseph also acknowledged God's hand in his life. He saw how God had orchestrated his position of authority and refused to sin against God and Potiphar when Potiphar's wife persistently lusted after Joseph (Gen. 39:7-10)  

There is no way Joseph could be so successful and be walking around complaining and moping about his plight! No way!! Have you ever seen someone who complains consistently? I always think of Eeyore, from Winnie the Pooh, when I see someone walking around with a cloud around them. EVERYTHING that donkey said was sad and negative, even his tone of voice was gloomy; even as a child, I found it irritating and confusing. If I remember correctly, Eeyore was not able to receive Pooh's love for him...though that did not keep Pooh from loving on him! My point: a gloomy person cannot receive love or blessings! Their perspective is tainted to the point that they cannot see truth, joy, and peace!

I don't know if Joseph loved Potiphar, but I know he respected him and his household, including his wife. Since Joseph was so attractive (Gen. 39:6), I am sure he had ample opportunity for some "fun" on the side. But his integrity and honor was firmly established; he knew who he was and what was expected of him. Joseph did not allow slavery to change him nor did his foundation crumble at the consistent difficulty (more on that later). Plainly, Joseph did not allow circumstances to taint him. I believe he really knew, in the core of his being, that God was acutely aware (Psalm 139) of him and had not left him abandoned (John 14:18, Deuteronomy 31:6) in a foreign land.

Questions for further thought: 

1. How is your perspective clouded so that you see things not as they actually are? What pain in your life is directing your perspective...as a lens skewing your eyesight?
2. How are your words? Do you speak failure or life? Do you speak fear or hope? Do you speak abuse or love? Do you speak judgment or grace?
3. What blessings have you been missing because of your skewed lenses? Gratitude aligns perspective. List things you're grateful for today...right now and every day!
4. What are you jealous of? What is the opposite of that? Isaiah 61: "instead of": Beauty instead of ashes, joy instead of mourning, etc. See if the enemy is trying to distract you from God's design and will. (I.e., If I'm jealous of someone getting a job when I don't have enough money to just live simply, I'm not celebrating their blessing and allowing room for resentment to reside within me...thereby, not trusting God that his plan for me is good and complete (Jeremiah 29:11-13).) The negative side of the "instead of" is a strategically placed lie the enemy wants you to believe so you doubt God. Increase your awareness of strategically placed lies!!

"Thankless children we all are, more or less, comprehending but dimly the truth of God's fathomless love for us." Elisabeth Elliot, Keep a Quiet Heart

A Protective Intervention

What do you think about when you think of Joseph? If you've been around church for more than a minute, you probably remember how his "coat of many colors" got him nearly killed and sold into slavery. Even as a child, I was confused about how his brothers could hate him so much. And, why his father didn't know that his sons would hurt Joseph in such a way. I even subconsciously blamed Jacob for giving Joseph the coat and drawing attention to him!

But as I began my exploration of the details of the story, my perspective began to shift. Bear with me as I unpack this. Remember how Leah was not loved by Jacob? In today's culture, there are lots of "unloved" humans. That is, there are lots of children who's parents do not love them well. Last Sunday, my pastor quoted statistics of 1 out of 3 children are fatherless. That means, 24 million children were likely products of a casual sexual experience that did not come from a place of a committed, loving relationship (I recognize there are exceptions in this number...but our culture is permeated with careless, sexual, so-called relationships, even in the church! No judgment, just reality!) I think that describes Joseph's brothers too! All of Joseph's brothers (except Benjamin) were the result of sex, not intimacy! They were the products of a tricked relationship, which left them vulnerable to displaying the same resentment of their parents' lives. Neither Jacob nor Leah chose to be in a marital relationship; both were forced. I have not found any clues that Jacob ever grew to truly love Leah.

As a counselor, I look for the patterns. One of my tools is to look for generational patterns, such as addiction or abuse. If one generation does not take the time and be intentional to stop such patterns, then the next generation gets an opportunity. Forgiveness, healing, growth and change do not occur without intention. So, Joseph's brothers were just continuing the pattern. Since Jacob did not love Leah, I submit his love for her children was lacking. 

I have three nieces. They are loved. Well! They are joyful, vibrant, giggling, sweet little girls. Their parents love each other and have fostered an atmosphere of love in their homes. It does not take research to see that children who grow up in such homes, thrive. Those who grow up questioning their safety, support, and trust, struggle. The problem is rarely the child, it's their environment! That's why I work with adults as a counselor. Parents change...children change, both positively and negatively!

One piece of favor that I found in Joseph's life was Reuben's actions. Reuben stopped resentment from taking it's full course of murder. While it appears that he ultimately failed to protect Joseph by not getting him back to his father's protection, God gave Reuben courage to stand against his brothers, a likely mob mentality. Reuben's actions allowed God to provide another avenue of protection and favor: slavery...to an officer of Pharaoh! To me, it's obvious that Joseph being sold into slavery was God's protection. It would have been only a matter of time before Joseph's brothers would have had another opportunity to kill him and Reuben or Jacob may not have been present to stop it. 

Slavery is traumatic. Being seventeen and torn from everything you know, would be traumatic for anyone. Worse, knowing it was your own siblings who sent you away from everything you know, how would you respond?! I would be profoundly hurt and probably resentful. What if God's intervention is traumatic? What if the steps you and I have to take to accomplish the greater picture are painful, traumatic, despairing small steps? (Please note!!! I am in no way promoting abuse here! I'm merely stating that some of the lowest times in our lives are often emotionally traumatic...maybe even spiritually, physically, financially, etc.) I want us to focus on our response to such events. I want to challenge us to trust God anyways, during such events. I want to encourage us to dive, grasp after, desperately seek the Truth of God's character (who he ACTUALLY IS, not who we perceive Him to be)...during such events. This is a daily, moment-by-moment fight.

All the jobs I have applied for over the last year have not turned into an opportunity...yet! Sometimes I got an interview. Most times, I got nothing...no call, no response whatsoever. I was doing everything I knew to do...EVERYTHING! But, I was striving. I was not resting in God's hands. There is a fine line between doing and being, striving and resting. I submit it is a matter of the heart. As a dear friend recently encouraged me, "Do your due diligence" and let God take care of the rest of it. Trust that the circumstances you're in are not outside of God's plan...because, His plan for you is GOOD AND COMPLETE! Stand firm on that! Even if it means..."slavery"!

Questions for further thought: 

1. If you are a child that has not been loved well, who are the Reubens in your life? 
2. What events have removed you from traumatic situations, but ultimately protected you? 
3. Do you strive (Dictionary.com: to exert oneself vigorously) to change your circumstances? What if you put that same energy into striving for the Truth of who God is and trust that He's got in you these circumstances on purpose? What if your perspective shifted from your circumstances to focusing on His face? If you can't see His face, find out why!

The Beginnings of Joseph

So, what started this whole thing is my expectation that the life I had before would be the life I have now, except better. After all, I am more educated and wiser…um, older! I still have favor in people's eyes. I'm not bragging but I want to express the magnitude of my experience. I have singular conversations with corporate leaders, pastors, ministry leaders, etc. Almost all those conversations lead to some sort of opportunity or promise of a future one.  

Yet, for the vast majority of the last twenty months, I have struggled to keep my four walls secure: housing, utilities, food and transportation (a very simple life!) My question: how do I have favor with God and man but still do not have the blessings? Do you see the assumption in that question?! 

One thing about such questions: if you do not ask the right person, you probably will not get a truthful answer, or worse, you get many "truthful" answers that leave you wanting and confused. After throwing out the question to a select few, I boldly asked Father God. He immediately reminded me of the story of Joseph in Genesis. Of course, I knew the general story but I had this feeling of expectant anticipation that sent me searching for deeper details and meaning. You're cordially invited on my journey of discovery.

Joseph was the first-born son of Jacob and Rachel, but Jacob's eleventh son (twelfth child counting daughter Dinah). He had so much favor that Joseph's brothers hated him, and refused to talk with him. The Amplified version of Genesis 37:4 states that his brothers could not even greet him or speak to him in a peaceful way. That's some resentment! The counselor side of me thinks of this in the context of family systems and how this may have impacted Joseph's view of himself. What an experience of extremes! To be so very loved and so very hated, all within the same family unit.

Before we head forward, it's important to observe the past. Significant parts of this story include the details of Jacob's pursuit of Rachel, prior to Joseph’s birth. If you remember, Laban tricked Jacob into marrying both his daughters: Leah and Rachel. Jacob loved and wanted Rachel (Genesis 29:17-20, 30) but got Leah on the wedding night (Gen 29:23-25). Can you imagine?! That part has always baffled me. What would be your human response? Jacob had worked a “quick” seven years for Rachel, has sex with her (or so he thought…weird!) on their wedding night, only to wake up next to a different woman! I imagine he felt deep anger, probably resentment, maybe foolishness or shame for not realizing sooner that Leah was not Rachel. (Note: there some cultural differences here that are beyond my scope of specific knowledge; be careful not to put your Western experience on a non-western event in history.) When Jacob went to Laban to complain, Laban manipulated another seven years of work from Jacob in order to have Rachel as his wife that day (Gen 29:28-30). Jacob surrendered and stayed, because he loved Rachel. He ended up remaining in Laban's land for a while (someone else can research that…) and he put up with a lot (Gen 31:6-7)!
Back to Joseph’s life, he was treasured by Jacob because he was the product of the love he had for Rachel...after, Rachel's sister, Leah, gave Jacob nine children (with the help of her maid)! Rachel’s maid gave Jacob two sons. Joseph is the product of years of work, waiting, disappointment, frustration, heartache, etc! Fourteen years of working plus the heartache of watching Rachel go through the emotional turmoil of seeing her sister have many children, plus the stress of moving his family out of Laban's territory and all the abuse he endured, plus...etc. There are considerable stressors in Jacob’s life, to say the least! When Joseph came along, I am certain he was very celebrated…at least on Rachel’s wing of the house.

This hit me: it was God’s intention to keep Jacob waiting for Joseph. He was advocating for Leah, the unloved woman (Gen 29:31). As I look at my circumstances, I am certain that neither Jacob nor Rachel saw that God was working out a different situation by using their circumstances. He was blessing Leah. It was crucial for a man to have offspring, in that culture; you might say it was his retirement plan.  God let Leah have the favor for a while. I submit God was giving Jacob opportunity to actually love Leah (Reuben, her firstborn means “see, a son!” Gen 29:32 AMP). All three of her first sons were an attempt to get love from her husband (look up the meanings of their names). I’m not sure Jacob ever got the lesson.Will you and I?

Questions for further thought: (I recommend you doing your own work on applying this to your life, including journaling your thoughts and insights! Even if you don’t like journaling, try it.)

1. That thing you’ve been waiting for, what is God’s greater intent? What might be his greater picture for your time of waiting? I dare you to ask Him...
2. If you’re Rachel, what characteristics do you know about God that might lead you to respond in gratitude during your waiting, instead of anger/frustration/disappointment/depression/anxiety? 
3. The assumption in the question…what do you think it is?

The Background

For the last seven years, I have been seeking, healing, training, developing, refining...in short, in a magnificently tedious journey. First, it was discovering who God made me to be, then it was understanding who I am, then discovery the pain in my life and recovering from the consequences I experienced as a result of trying to run from the pain; then, it was moving fourteen hours from home to pursue a graduate degree, where I thought I was going to learn how to effectively help others...more on that later!
 
Following graduate school, which nearly killed me, I was unemployed for four months. I was hired by a non-profit organization, where I helped develop their program of integrating clinical counseling with pastoral care. During my time there, I further refined my areas of passion. Yet, I'm still waiting for full employment. Remember “frustratingly fulfilled”? After years of unfulfilled frustration, my spirit is full and I have found my niche! Now to make enough money to survive…then thrive!

Prior to this journey, I was in the business world. I excelled at that world but rarely enjoyed it. I had such favor from God during those years, though I didn't recognize it as such. Foolishly, I thought it was all me! Every time I got bored with a job, I would find another interesting job, apply, interview and get the job...EVERY time!

Please note: While I am not a theologian by training, I intentionally seek to understand my Father God and His ways. While I want to be accurate in my details, I do not want us to get caught up in semantics or deep details that may not have significance to the heart of the matter.